Humanity
by VectorCrocodileFangirl
Summary: /Arthur x Steve/ The world considered Arthur Bishop something less than human, but to Steve he was everything that made the world okay again.


To the rest of the world, Arthur Bishop was something less than human. After all, anyone who could so easily pick up a gun and end a person's life without any care or remorse couldn't be a person anymore, not by the standards society had set for itself. Arthur was merely a pawn to be used by those with money to throw at him and a worthy target to point him at; a well-oiled machine full of refined killing potential. In terms of contract killers, he was the best the world could offer; in terms of a sympathetic human being, one of the worst. Or so everyone thought.

One thing that _was_ true about Arthur Bishop, however, was that there were very few people in this world who he could let in. Even from a young age, before he even understood the concept of hitmen, he knew as much; people lied, people deceived, people would do anything to further their own desires, even if it meant leaving everyone and everything they loved behind in the dust. And once he got older, that was what he did. It was the nature of humans, and for his troubles he was called a monster.

Arthur had never thought of himself as a monster. At first he'd been angry by the idea that anyone could think of him like that. Then he killed his first person, a miscellaneous thug in a bar fight, and he started to believe the things people said about him. The mindset only worsened as he started killing for profit. Eventually, the only thing that kept him anchored to the world outside his work was Harry McKenna, the closest thing he had to a friend in this world.

And now Harry McKenna was gone, killed by Arthur himself.

For a few hours after returning home from the kill, Arthur seriously considered picking up his gun and shoving it in his mouth. Harry wasn't just an employer, wasn't just a friend- he was a tie to something more, to the humanity he thought he'd given up.

Then _Steve_ McKenna came along.

At first, having him around had been a hindrance, then a learning experience; after all, teaching someone else could be a way to even better refine his _own_ skills. Then it became almost a pleasure; it was nice to not be alone anymore, to have someone around who could help him and watch his back. An apprentice. A partner.

He had no idea he would fall in love with him.

* * *

It had all started when Steve said _he_ was in love with _him_. Steve had found out that Arthur had been the one to kill his father, the father he'd been trying to get revenge for this whole time. The hitman had fully expected Steve to try and kill him; after all, it was what he would have done, when he was younger and not nearly as smart as he was now. He even had the perfect opportunity; armed, with Arthur sitting alone in the car at the gas station, and yet he hadn't. He'd merely gone inside, bought as much junk food as he could carry for the long drive ahead of them, and come back out.

They'd been driving for a while when Arthur decided that the elephant in the living room had to be taken care of; he'd pulled over to the shoulder of the highway, put the car in park and turned to the younger man.

"Why didn't you kill me when you had the chance?" he asked. "I know you were planning on doing it back there. You had the perfect opportunity back there. And what you asked me- about killing people you know- you know about Harry," Steve had merely nodded along with what he was saying, confirming all of his suspicions. "When you thought he'd died in a carjacking, you were ready to shoot any random carjacker you came across," he said. "But when you find the man you _know_ killed your father, suddenly you have cold feet?" Steve leaned his seat back and exhaled deeply.

"I didn't get _cold feet_," he replied, turning towards him. His eyes were a little teary and almost overwhelmingly sincere. "I realized that revenge for the guy who was barely around when I was a kid, who kicked me out on my ass when I started behaving like less than a perfect gentleman around his stupidly rich friends, wasn't worth killing the guy who saved my life and then gave it back to me on numerous occasions."

Arthur was, admittedly, more than a little blown away by his answer. Loyalty had been a fleeting concept to him even when he'd been friends with and working exclusively for Harry; in the end everything came down to the job and all that mattered was the next paycheck and his reputation. When things had come down to it, he even killed Harry. But Steve- Steve, who had known him for a lot shorter time than he'd known his father, Steve who he'd put in incredible danger countless times, Steve who he'd been prepared to _kill_ if the need arose- was loyal to him.

Pulling back out onto the highway, he tried his best to maintain his composure. The desire to kill- or, at least, the desire to kill _him_- had gone from Steve's eyes, but he'd been trained by the best. He wanted so badly to trust this kid, but experience had taught him never to trust _anyone_.

Moments of silence between them turned to minutes and minutes turned to hours before Steve finally worked up the courage to say anything.

"So.." he began awkwardly, squirming in his seat. It made the bag of chips in his lap crackle annoyingly. "Where are we _going_, anyway?" he asked. Arthur tilted his head to each side, the best approximate of a shrug he could give while focusing on driving.

"Somewhere far, far away," he replied. "We just killed one of the world's most powerful men, now that your father is gone- we need new names, new faces, new lives." Steve leaned his face into his hand and sighed, before the reality of what he'd said sunk in.

"I- get the feeling you're not unfamiliar with this process," he said. "Is 'Arthur Bishop' really your name?" Arthur tightened his grip on the wheel, not sure whether he should tell Steve the truth or not. He decided it was best to tell him at least _part_ of the truth; after he decided he wanted to _kill_ him, earning his trust back was one of the most important things he could do at the moment.

"..Arthur is my real name," he said, determinedly keeping his eyes on the road. "Bishop is an alias." Feeling the building tension, Steve decided not to pry any farther. Instead, he chose to partially change the subject to a no-less awkward topic.

"Does that woman know that?" he asked, almost muttering as though _angry_. It took a moment for Arthur to process his question.

"What, you mean Sarah?" he asked. Steve turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "She barely even knew my first name, never mind the fact that I have a fake last one." he replied.

"..did you care about her?" he asked. Arthur let his eyes wander from the road long enough to give him a questioning look.

"She was a nice woman," he replied. "I hope she has a nice life. But did I care about her? Not particularly," He tilted his head back a little. "She was stress relief."

"So you didn't.. _love_ her?" Steve asked, almost _spitting_ the word 'love'. Arthur gave him a pointed 'what the hell are you talking about' look.

"Love.. is a distraction. A good mechanic doesn't have _time_ for love." he explained. At that, Steve sunk back into his seat, looking even more miserable than before, even though Arthur was sure that 'no' answer had been what he was fishing for.

"..I guess," he muttered.

For about another hour, the two were completely silent. Steve kept his eyes on his window, not even bothering to eat any of the food he'd bought. It wasn't until Arthur pointed out that they were close to a rest stop and he was going to stop for a top up on the truck in case they couldn't make it to the next one without a refill.

"Are we just.. going to keep driving until you say it's time to stop?" he asked, his question muffled by the class of the window he had his face rested against. Arthur shrugged.

"Unless you have somewhere in particular you'd like to _go_," he replied. "I don't really care. I just want to go somewhere nobody can put a name to our faces. Doesn't really matter to me _where_ exactly that is." Steve just slumped further in his seat and kept staring out his window.

"..kay." He closed his eyes as Arthur pulled into the rest stop. The hitman wanted to ask his apprentice what exactly was _wrong_, but he couldn't really bring himself to. It would have been an admittance that he _cared_ about what was wrong with him, and he wasn't sure he could bring himself to do that yet. He stepped out of the truck and walked around to the gas cap, opening it manually from the outside and grabbing the gas pump.

Once the tank was full and he'd paid (in cash, of course- he'd never owned a credit card or had a bank account in the US, it was too risky), he came back out to the car to find Steve stuffing his face with a bag of ketchup chips. Arthur couldn't help but smirk a little at that; Steve was such a teenager, it was kind of hilarious to watch, especially with the little flecks of red in his facial hair.

"Want something to wash that down with?" he asked, handing him one of the cans of soda from the little cooler in the back seat. Steve gave him a weak, tentative smile.

"..thanks," he said, as Arthur settled down into his seat and buckled himself in. "So.. have you _never_ been in love? I know you said it's a distraction, but.." Arthur looked over at him, and decided it was best to pull away from the pump and into one of the parking spaces before they had this conversation.

"Not that I can remember," he replied. "I haven't been around that many people for most of my life. I learned a long time ago that you can't trust anyone." Steve hung his head and sighed, tossing his chips into the back seat.

"Can we just.. go?"

* * *

They'd been driving almost all day when they reached a small town. Aside from the street lamps, the only thing illuminating the roads were the signs of the small, family owned motels and twenty-four hour diners. With a decision that seemed completely random but Steve was sure was carefully deliberated beforehand, Arthur pulled into the parking lot of one of the motels. As he was about to get out of the truck, Steve grabbed his sleeve.

"Wait," he said, voice vaguely hoarse. "I.. I want to say something before we go in." He looked up at the older man, eyes drooping slightly with how tired he was, the redness from the crying almost but not completely gone as it had been hard to keep from tearing up throughout the day.

"..go on." Arthur said, settling back into his seat and turning all of his attention towards Steve.

"This is probably never going to be any less awkward, no matter how much I think about how to say this in my head, so here it goes," he said, taking a deep breath. "I'm.. in love with you, I think. I mean, with my dad.. _gone_, I thought there wasn't a lot left for me in the world, and I was ready to do just about anything to avenge him because what else was _left_ for me to do, but then you actually gave me a purpose and.. and someone for me to give a damn about. You're.. well, you're really everything I have left and I'd do some really stupid shit if you weren't around. I mean, god, you've saved my life before. _That's_ why I couldn't bring myself to kill you.. we barely know each other but I _depend_ on you and I don't know what I'd do without you. And if all that's not love, I don't think I'll ever actually _be_ in love, and.."

Arthur tightened his grip on the steering wheel. This was bad. Very, very, _very_ bad. Something like _this_ was never supposed to happen- he was never supposed to take on an "apprentice" in the first place.

Somehow, he was starting to think that Steve trying to kill him would have been better than this.

"Look, Steve, I-" Steve reached out and put a hand over his mouth.

"Don't- _say_ anything," he said, sounding vaguely pained. "I know, 'love is a distraction', you don't _feel _things like that, I get it. But- I don't want to hear it," He dropped his hand from Arthur's mouth when he reached out to grab his wrist. "Can't you just let me pretend for a while?"

Arthur reached out towards Steve, grabbing his chin in his hand. He wasn't at all sure about what he was doing- this entire situation was horribly uncomfortable for him and it wasn't like he was _used_ to this sort of thing- but really, the last thing he needed right now was an unsure and frustrated Steve, especially one harbouring negative feelings towards him. The younger, red haired man looked at him in surprise. It didn't last long, however, because before either of them could say anything else, Steve roughly took Arthur's face in his hands, leaned in, and kissed him.

It wasn't like he hadn't been expecting this. Steve was predictable and he _was_ sort of encouraging him. He wasn't sure what to do, though- it wasn't like he was really a big kisser, of course, so he just sat back and let himself be kissed.

After Steve seemed to be content, they both piled out of the truck and headed for the front office. The younger man walked as close beside him as he could, his arm pressed against him. Behind the front desk was a bored looking teenage boy with bright orange hair and several facial piercings, the sort of kid who worked in the little town he grew up in and hated just until he had enough money to run off for parts unknown.

"We'd like a room." Arthur said, making sure he spoke loud enough to be head over the teenager's headphones.

Without even looking up, the teenager asked, "Single or double?"

"Double," Arthur quickly replied. As much as he was allowing himself to humour Steve for the moment, he wasn't going to humour him _that_ much. The bored young man extended his hand and Arthur put a couple of bills in his hand. "Keep the change."

The kid temporarily turned his attention away from the book he's reading to hand Arthur a key card, deposit the right amount for the cost of the room and pocket the rest of the money.

"Have a nice stay." he muttered, sounding quite bored, as the two hitman walked away. The two walked around out back to their room, and as soon as they were inside Arthur walked over to one of the two double beds. He smoothed out a wrinkle in the covers and put both hands on the bed.

"This'll do," he said. "We'll spend the night here and we'll head back out in the morning," He was going to turn towards Steve to fill him in on more of the plan so far, but before he could, Steve grabbed both of his shoulders and turned him around. "What the hell are you-"

The younger man kissed him, pressing his body against him. He slipped his tongue past Arthur's lips and teeth, and had the older hitman been more in his right mind, he would have bitten down; surely _that_ would have discouraged him. Instead he simply- _froze_.

When it came to killing people or gathering information or anything like that, Arthur was a master. When it came to emotions and feelings and _sex_, however, he was completely lost. He wanted to push Steve away, smack some sense into him, tell him the first rule was to _never get involved_ with someone, _especially_ someone in the same business, because you would make stupid mistakes and risk your life and theirs. But for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to.

Steve pushed him down onto the bed, not exactly forcefully- he more _lead_ him onto the bed, climbing on top of him.

_Can't you just let me pretend for a while?_ Steve's words rang in his head. How long was he going to let him pretend? The younger man straddled Arthur's hips, tossing his newsboy cap to the side and peeling off his shirt. Arthur's hands immediately go to Steve's hips, letting out a deep sigh. This _couldn't_ turn out well.

"How long's it been since either of us last had sex? A month?" he asked, sliding his hands under Arthur's shirt and moving his hips gently against him. "You don't mind sex with guys, do you?" Arthur swallows hard, tightly gripping Steve's hips.

"I've.. never tried." he replied honestly. Steve smiled a little, grinding against him a little more insistently.

"You'll like this, trust me," he sighs, reaching down and unzipping the fly of Arthur's jeans. "I'm going to ride you so hard you won't be able to _move_ for the rest of the night."

This couldn't be happening, and yet. Arthur tilted his head back and closed his eyes; maybe if he didn't look, he could pretend it wasn't Steve about to have sex with him.

* * *

Arthur was slowly starting to rediscover how amazing sex was. When he was only having sex with Sarah, he wasn't exactly very _into_ it- it was purely for relief, so he didn't become too tense. Being tense could only hinder his work, after all. But things were different with Steve; it was almost impossible for him to be disinterested. The ways Steve _moved_, the things he _said_, the _noises_ he made- all of it was impossible to ignore and _incredibly_ arousing. Instead of just having sex for relief, now he wanting to push Steve down onto the bed and ravish him every night.

It wasn't just Steve's sexual prowess that made sex with him so much more enjoyable, though- but for the longest time he wasn't sure _what_ was making sex with the younger hitman so enjoyable.

They were in a little town in Oregon now, called Canyonville- far enough from New Orleans that Arthur felt comfortable staying in the country until the heat died down a little more. After a while they would slip out of the country for a little while; they'd head to Mexico, or Canada maybe, until the search for them died down a little, then they'd come back here.

They'd found a little bungalow here in the small town, reasonably priced; the outside paint was peeling a little, and the back porch was in disrepair, but the inside was in good condition. There were only four rooms and there wasn't even a garage, but it worked well enough for them.

Steve panted and slid off of Arthur, climbing under the covers with him.

"For a guy who doesn't have a lot of sex, you're a pretty damn good fuck," he said, licking his lips. He turned over in bed and sighed. They only had one bedroom and one bed; aside from the whole sex thing, it was just cheaper and more convenient. Arthur bit his lower lip and rolled over, pressing his body against Steve's back. The younger hitman looked back at him in confusion. "Hey, what are you doing?" Arthur sighed, burying his face in Steve's shoulder.

"I dunno," he replied. "Don't question it."

Steve smiled to himself, putting his hand over Arthur's.

"I love you."

"..I love you too."

And that was when Arthur realized Steve _was_ his humanity.


End file.
